You usually find, that the older and the closer a person gets to death, that they start to take a bit more interest into whether or not there is a God and usually hedge their bets by coming down in favour of there being a God and they hope for a heaven also.
Nothing wrong in hedging your bets with a Pascal style Wager but at the end of the day or the deceased's last day, there will either be an afterlife or there will not.
One thing is for sure, there is nothing any of us can do about it, but if there is a God, I am sure that I will not be the first to ask my maker what the hell he was playing at when he screwed up the planet earth and just what benefit did it serve in him giving me severe toothache on a weekend when I could not get treatment.
But still I kept some of my faith and offered up the occasional prayer to an entity that logic told me did not exist - but what has really hacked me of with Christians, is when their clergy spout rubbish like the recent sermon given by the female Reverend Ms Jan Gould to 600 people, attending a memorial service for the murder victim Karina Menzies.
Ms Menzies, was mown down and killed in Cardiff, South Wales on Friday, when some lunatic deliberatly rammed his white pickup van into five different groups of people before being apprehended by police. The Reverend Jan Gould pleaded with her congregation not to resort to "revenge" saying:
"The only way that we can move forward into the future with hope, is by responding to this suffering the same way Jesus did - with love. Not malice, not hatred, not revenge. Not taking the law into our own hands - that's what our justice system is for."
What a dull, thick, insensitive cow this Reverend is, who epitomises everything that is wrong with the clergy today. No wonder the pews are empty with pink and fluffy rainbow clouded brains like her speaking from the pulpit.
If someone kills a loved one, then if you are a normal person you have every right to feel malice to the monster who deprived you of a person you cared about - and if you did not hate the killer and want revenge, then you are as sick in the head as the Reverend Gould.
The moslems call Christians the White Maggots who will not fight. The Christian's watch their vicars be beaten and murdered, they watch their churches burn to the ground because they are good Christian sheep who are being led to the slaughter by their clergy shepherds.
I refuse to be a sheep. I am done with Christianity and if there is a God and he has a problem with that, then he can kiss my white Welsh arse.