South West Nationalist
Kate Middleton's Tits
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Written by Southwest Nationalist
Monday mornings - don't we all hate them? Sod all to write about, brain isn't playing nice. Hmmmm, let's hit the gutter (if the title of this article hadn't betrayed my intentions). The Paltalk regulars will tell you I have skills at that.
Todays story of the day is the still ongoing saga of Kate Middleton and her topless pictures. Every tabloid you look at online seems to have as many stories as is possible on the topic, which most of us - including myself - don't give a damn about.
Still, it's worth a legal drama seemingly, the royals trying to intervene and pursue court action/demand prosecution, and wall to wall coverage seemingly.
Shame they can't spend more time on speaking out about the nightmare being inflicted on our nation instead of going to all the trouble of trying to keep Kate and her boobs out of the magazines. Then again, they're doing pretty well out of the nightmare.
Every tabloid website out there seems to think it's the most important story of the day, perhaps year - but nobody really cares other than the chattering classes who secretly love to see a bit of royal breast or bum in the news because it gives them something to tut about.
Not to mention it has another great use.
Push back those stories of important news to the bottom of the agenda, maybe not have to mention them at all.
How much media coverage is given to the huge armada out in the Persian Gulf for an "exercise" - aka telling Iran we're going to go to war with them if they don't toe the line, and quite possibly in preparation for Israel to go ahead and start said war in advance of the US presidential elections?
The muzzies bitching on about a trite movie that nobody would ever of heard of if they hadn't whined about it gets pushed down the columns. They can kill people over that but remember it's just a minority, the rest are peace loving.
Also shoved down the columns and relegated online are the poll results telling us - we already knew it but heh - that Britain is sick of immigration, sick of armies of foreign students, and sick of just about everything. Big Society? Broken Society more like, but getting bigger and broker all the time.
Peoples eyes are elsewhere now though, focused on Kate's knockers. There's always a distraction, a babble of bullshit to divert the gaze and befuddle the brain. A suspicious person might wonder if it was done deliberately to hog the headlines.
Joe Public loves a bit of scandal and a pair of tits, especially famous tits. He'll forget everything else to secretly gloat over them whilst cursing at the indignity of such a thing being inflicted on the royals, or arguing that it's fine because said royal shouldn't have been so silly to get their top off or bits out in the first place.
It's not too different to the X-Factor feckery I wrote about here recently - the same old stuff, a dull distraction, opium for the ogling masses and chattering classes.
Who needs to think about the real problems of Britain when you've got Middleton's mammaries to stare at, tut about, and can always rewind a week or two for a look at Harry cupping his nuts if that's what floats your boat?
What's coming next when they need a headline to spam? Charles in illegal love tryst with Queens corgi; Princess Anne in Giddyup whipping frenzy with toyboy; Edward egged us on for threesome say poor Thai Trannies - exclusive photos!
It's all the same old circus, the X-Factor in print - anything to distract peoples attention from things that really matter. And to make said people pay for a few extra copies of papers and magazines of course.
Roll up, roll up, cheap admission to the circus of confusion, getting in is cheap but once there you and your children will pay a high price for decades to come.
The royal jugs and princely privates are talking point number one though - let's all gloat a bit, get self righteously indignant, and ignore the nightmare all around us in favour of noble nipples whilst we hand over 50p for our favourite rag.
*The image used is a Royal (Doulton) Jug, you'll have to pay your 50p to see the pair by clicking the donate button. Go on, you know you want to, life is not complete until you've seen a pair of royal jugs and can discuss them over coffee.
