Wherever you look there's hate, this time some inconsiderate wretch scattering bacon (RAW BACON as the Daily Fail has to tell us in big capital letters) around a Staten Island park where Muslims were due to celebrate Ramadan.
The NYPD are investigating a possible hate crime.
Wonder if I'd get a similar response from British police - when walking through our local park here recently I saw, in amongst the usual pleasant scenery of syringes, dog crap, and condom wrappers, half of a kebab.
That kebab has to be halal, I believe a hate crime has taken place. One suspects I'd be arrested, sectioned, or both if I complained.
Back to bacon and Staten Island though, and an anonymous person has admitted to scattering the bacon - apparently it had sod all to do with Muslims, they were putting it out to feed the seagulls, opossums, and the raccoons.
Surely this person should be praised then, it's like foreign aid on a local level. We're always being told it's our duty to feed the coons, possums, and wildlife of all descriptions, after all.
The story doesn't end there, speedy NYPD police have linked the Bacon Bandit with a Facebook posting which reads :
"I am going to walk my pet pig and i am gonna let him take a nice fat dump in the field....just in time for morning prayers."
Pigs have to poo too. Would it be okay if it had been a dog? Wait, those Muslims have a thing about dogs as well. Slap Scooby Doo in a burka and they'd be on us for a hate crime in a moment.
Urro. No Scooby snack for poor SWN.
Good job I didn't put Porky Pig in that burka, there'd be millions of Muslims on the streets demanding I be killed violently - which of course wouldn't be a crime, it's fine for them to hate us and break the laws of our lands.
Bugger, really isn't my day. Mohammed Mullah and Jamaal the Jihadi are going to have to get some placards made - "SWN burn in hell, we are the religion of peace but we'd like to kill you in hideous ways".
I'd best stop there before I get myself a fatwa, at least if it isn't already too late.
Just another moment of stupidity and a country bending over backwards to appease Muslim feelings. Funny Muslim countries are never so stupid when it comes to appeasing any non-Muslims unfortunate enough to be there.
We mustn't upset the Mullahs, but they can do what they like. Sounds familiar, just like the UK and other nations in Europe. Islam can do what it likes, but a bit of bacon is a hate crime.
Talking of which, lunch time - after typing 'bacon' so many times in an article it seems only right that I dine on a few rashers accompanied by a couple of nice Lincolnshire pork sausages.
It's okay, I'll be careful not to drop any crumbs where an unfortunate Muslim might get offended. The poor coons will have to go without.