Messiah Mo won me the lottery - and cured my leprosy!
Written by Southwest Nationalist
The ballad of new messiah Mo Farah - elevated to Saint and supreme Briton already - continues with what is quite possibly the most idiotic story of the day.
Libby and Alisdair McRae won £2m on the lottery - and it's all attributed to Mo.
"It must have been my lucky run-in with Mo Farah. When I was finishing the Bupa 10K in May, he lapped me and I moved to the side until he had passed. I have felt so lucky ever since" said Libby McRae.
"Mo went onto win double Olympic gold and I went on to win over £2m - thanks Mo."
What in the name of the gods is that about?
Next we'll be getting headlines about how cripples can walk again because they touched an image of Mo Farah, how the blind can see as they were miraculously cured by film footage of that Mobot shambles, and various lepers relieved of their affliction by playing with a cuddly Mo action doll.
From the African desert didst the messiah hail, bearing Koran and camel, by the miracle of Allah was he made as British as you or I.
What a man! Nay, not a man, verily the incarnation of sainthood and Britishness in one scrawny, fast running figure.
He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best! Wait, sorry, that's Dangermouse and not Darkymus....oops, best avoid that race hate charge if at all possible.
It really has got bloody ridiculous, the ballad of Mo the Messiah has entered the realms of the absurd for sure.
Expect it to continue, the black Muslim poster child of the new and colonised Britain is being created.
All hail Saint Mo. Rubbing his picture back and forth now - I've been told it has miraculous powers, so applying it to my haemorrhoids could work wonders and cure my bumgrapes.