John of Gwent
Osborne's Barking Mad Ideas
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Written by John of Gwent
I thought it was only Vince "The Gringotts Goblin" Cable who came up with barking mad ideas to fuel late night small talk over party conference beer. Well was I wrong on that one. For the lad has come up with two absolute stunners this week.
First up is a really nasty kick in the teeth for anyone thrown out of their job courtesy of the uncaring scum he fiddles the books for.
Get pregnant while you're on benefits and guess what, the amount you get won't be what someone who had that many kids to start with gets.
So what he's saying is that while they continue to throw the doors open to every Tom Dick and Harry sorry I meant Mohammed Yusef and Iqbal and their entire harem and progeny imported to swell the population of the "enrichers", anyone already here must live in fear of an unplanned pregnancy while they wait for his unplanned economy to pick up.
What a splendid way to destroy still further the breeding capacity of the indigenous population. Tony Blair must be kicking himself this very day for not seeing the brilliance of adding that component to his master plan to exterminate the descendents of the Angles, Saxons, Jutes and Celts in these lands.
And now to his second brilliant idea.
Apparently he is going to introduce a scheme where anyone lucky enough to have a job will be "invited" to take up shares in their employer's company in exchange for giving up what little employment rights they have in this hell hole country.
But I need your help here. What the hell is he talking about?
The idea is that new employees of small start up businesses will be allowed to "opt" to accept between £2000 and £50000 of shares in their employers company and sell them free of capital gains tax if they agree to become about as empowered as some of the child labourers in Asia's textile sweatshops.
But hang on.
1. This is supposed to be for new employees. New employees do not have to be bribed like this, they have no rights for about two years anyway, unless of course this is reintroducing Vince The Gringotts Goblin's "sack at will" plan under another name.
2. This is supposed to be a way to give a tax free profit to the person receiving the shares. But if they are being sacked, it means the company is not exactly as profitable as the plan expected it to be. Good luck making 2000 pence never mind 2000 pounds in that situation
3. Best of all, this is supposed to be a plan to apply to all companies large or small. So if your employer is one of the literally tens of thousands not listed on a stock exchange and therefore whose stocks are not generally available to the public as they carry voting rights on the boards of those small companies (like mine, which has only one share and I own it), how the hell do you sell the shares, and who the hell do you sell them to?
4. I lied. That point above wasn't "best of all". This one is. This is supposed to be "optional", right. So let me see, you see a job advertised, you ring up, you get an application form, and when it arrives the last question is "do you wish to opt in to our 'hand over your employment rights in exchange for shares' option". Now you tell me, who gets the interview, the applicant who says yes, or the one who says no?
The man has lost the plot. He needs to be sectioned before he does something REALLY awesomely stupid.
